Wednesday, July 6, 2011

THE SHOW MUST GO ON...

...but alas, not this show.  I'm afraid this is my final post in this particular blog.  My initial intention here was to write quick reviews of my research, but right out of the gate, they became something much bigger than that.  I could write shorter ones, but if they were to be just standard reviews you can read anywhere, it wasn't very interesting for me to write.  I have enjoyed writing these, but they are taking up too much of my time, and I would rather pursue other writing interests.
  Thanks to those who followed, and to those who read.  I am going to keep the same domain name, and start posting again when I come up with something else I feel is worth talking about.  I will, however, be removing the current posts in the next few weeks.  I hate having to end this before having finished it - there was so much more to come! - but it is just too much of a commitment for now.
  Thanks for your time; I do hope you enjoyed it!  It's time to wave goodbye, like this happy little chappy:



Saturday, July 2, 2011

BONUS POST FOR RABID FANS

I couldn't resist sharing this.  A couple of days ago Dave Gordon sent me a link to a site called I Write Like, which analyses your writing style, compares it to famous authors, and tells you who you write like.  I entered the text for my first review in this blog, It.  This was the result:


I write like
James Joyce
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

I then put in the first five pages of the Stitches script.  Apparently it has a lot in common with:


I write like
Mark Twain
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Then I put in the first few pages of my long gestating novel, The Hallow Inn:


I write like
William Gibson
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

The curious thing is that when you click on the author's name, it brings you to Amazon so you can buy their books.  A cynic might say that this is a clever marketing ploy, but those of us who truly understand literature - Joyce, Twain, Gibson, myself - would point our fingers at those non-believers and call them a 'penis breath.'

Next up... what I hinted at in the previous post.

Friday, July 1, 2011

BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! [1988]

How many of you read the previous post and thought, 'He's going to do Candyman next!'?  If you did think that, for shame; get the hell out of my blog!  It could only have been Tim Burton's 1988 maniacal masterpiece!  Beetlejuice, along with approximately three hundred and twenty seven other movies, is easily in my top ten of all time.  I'd better get on with this, as I don't want to further incense Úna with delays (some of the things she threatened me with were just depraved; Johnny, your wife has serious issues; don't leave her alone with Oscar!), so without further preamble let's go and have a look, shall we?


I've lost count of how many times I've seen Beetlejuice.  It is one of those movies which is symbiotically infused with my childhood.  I can't think about one without the other leaping to mind.  It's like midi-chlorians, only not stupid and shit.  I must have been about eleven or twelve when I first saw it.  Though it was released when I was nine, I certainly didn't see it in the cinema, and I didn't get into renting movies until my teens, so Beetlejuice was most likely something I recorded off the TV (ads and all!) and then re-played again and again until someone went and recorded Glenroe over it.
  Beetlejuice was Tim Burton's second feature.  Back then his design heavy Gothic-comedy style was something fresh and new.  His films felt like the bastard child of The Cure and German expressionistic cinema.  They had a distinctive look and feel.  They were quirky without being alienating, and along with the likes of Joe Dante and John Landis, he bought a subversive indie edge to family entertainment which, while quite prominent in classic 80s and 90s movies, is sadly absent today.  While you may have memories of it being a kids' movie, make no mistake, Beetlejuice is quite dark and scary at times.  While it was PG on release in America, in Ireland it was 15s.  Regardless, I still consider it a kids' movie, and if your child can't handle this shit, get a new one with some balls (metaphorical balls, of course.  This isn't an anti-girl blog; I'm not China!).
  The basic story of Beetlejuice concerns Barbara and Adam Maitland (Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin) who contract a premature case of death, and find themselves left behind to haunt their dream home.  To their horror (comedy horror, obviously), the yuppie Deetz clan move in and gut the house of its earthly charm, only to replace it with ghastly modern art.  The Maitlands try to scare them away, but they are just too gosh darn nice be truly frightening.  It is at this point that Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton, in his personal favourite role) offers his services.  He calls himself a bio-exorcist, which means that he can exorcise the living.  All the Maitlands have to do is say his name three times, and this will release him.  Even if you haven't seen the movie, it's pretty obvious what's going to happen (i.e. the cripple telling the story is dead all along, then he sinks).
  Beetlejuice exudes an intoxicating lo-fi charm.  It manages to perfectly balance quirky weirdness with accessible fun.  The word quirky in movies is much like the term pop in music, in that it has taken on a very negative connotation in recent years.  When I say that Beetlejuice is quirky I mean it in the same sense that The Beatles are pop music; it is very much a good thing.
  Beetlejuice is unique in its style and tone.  I have wracked my brains, and I can't think of another film that is quite like it.  Even in Burton's own strange menagerie of movies, it stands apart.  It is so finely balanced in its weirdness that if any one element had failed to work, the whole thing would, much like the credibility and logic in a Harry Knowles review, have fallen apartBeetlejuice has more in common with a cartoon than with a live action film.  This is evident in everything from the production design and lighting, to the characters themselves.  The titular anti-hero aside, we spend much of the movie with the yuppie Deetz family, an unlikeable collection of weirdos, but they are played with such cartoon-like glee that you never want them to leave the screen.  The only characters in Beetlejuice who are normal are the Maitlands, and they're ghosts!
  The closest we get to an ordinary person in the Deetz family is Lydia (Winona Ryder), the goth girl next door whose dark nature means she is the only one who can see the Maitlands.  Her father Charles (Jeffrey Jones, forever to be known as Principal Edward R. Rooney from Ferris Bueler's Day Off) is a cutthroat contractor who has moved his family away from the city, as his nerves demand that he live a quieter life.  Delia (Catherine O'Hara) is Charles' wife and Lydia's step-mother, a high-strung and highly pretentious artist.  The group is rounded out by Delia's equally pretentious friend, interior decorator and paranormal dabbler, Otho (Glenn Shadix).
  The Maitlands are set up as being a perfect couple.  Though we only meet them briefly before their deaths, Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis perfectly capture the sense of their quaint and charming world.  Baldwin plays completely against type with Adam.  While I can't claim to have seen all of his movies, I have never seen him play a character like this elsewhere.  He is practically unrecognisable; even his trademark dark hair is absent.  As for Geena Davis, whatever happened to her?  She went from being one of the biggest box office draws in the world to staring two of the biggest bombs of all time, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Cutthroat Island.  Oh yeah; that's what happened to her!
  But while all of the cast are at the top of their game, there is only one star in this show; Michael Keaton, Michael Keaton, Michael Keaton!


Holy shit!  I wrote it three times, and he appeared!  Mmm.  That gives me an idea...  Natalie Portman!  Natalie Portman!  Natalie Portman!


What a neat trick, though I fear the real reason for the delay in posting this entry has become all too apparent...
   So, what was I saying?  Yes!  Beetlejuice!  Michael Keaton!  Awesomness!  Though he is only on screen for 17.5 minutes of the 92-minute running time, Keaton manages to trump everyone, every time.  The moment he is first resurrected is one of my favourite scenes of all time.  I could watch it again and again and it would never cease to crack me up.  It's easy to forget that Michael Keaton was one of the biggest stars of the 90s, in particular when under the directorship of Tim Burton (before the latter eloped with Johnny Depp).  And to think, it might never have happened!  Keaton wasn't in fact the first choice for the role.  Tim Burton originally wanted Sammy Davis Jr.  Yes.  That Sammy Davis Jr!  In case you can't quite picture him, here's a behind the scenes photo from the Beetlejuice casting sessions:


That's him on the right.  I think.  I don't research these blogs very well.  It's not actually as bat-shit crazy a notion as you might think.  The character of Beetlejuice went through some radical revisions as the script was developed.  In early incarnations, Beetlejuice was supposed to be a winged demon who transformed into a small, Middle Eastern man, and rather than being a wise-cracking con-artist, he was a bloodthirsty killer and a rapist whose goal was to murder the Deetz's.  Fun for all the family!
  And what about that name?  The studio didn't actually like the title Beetlejuice.  The story goes that Tim Burton joked that they should called it Scared Sheetless instead, and was horrified when the executives actually considered using it!
  Tim Burton's imagination is in full flight here.  He creates a unique world filled with wonderfully twisted visual gags.  The fact that the visuals were achieved through the use of physical effects lends the whole production a handcrafted feel.  The vision of the afterlife as an infernal bureaucracy is brilliantly realised, though this is practically pedestrian when compared with what happens when the Maitlands try to set foot outside their house.  These brief scenes are absolutely bonkers, but they leave us with some of the most enduring moments in the movie.  The sense of another world is brilliantly evoked, but what it particularly nice is how the strangeness is mirrored in the lifestyle of the Deetzes, most notably in Delia's artwork.  And then, of course, there's the Harry Belafonte...
  The more I think about it, the more Beetlejuice just doesn't make any sense!  How does this movie work?  If you actually look at the constituent parts, it should be one of the worst movie of all time, but somehow, thankfully, it is the complete opposite of that!  It just works.  There are some things about Beetlejuice that are undeniably good.  The performances are uniformly fantastic, the scripting by Michael McDowell and Warren Skaaren (based on a story by McDowell and Larry Wilson) is tightly constructed, and the direction confidant and daring.  As with all Tim Burton films, the production design is superb, and with the main title theme Danny Elfman produced one of his best and most iconic scores.  If I was to level a criticism at it at all, it would have to be that some of the compositing effects have dated, but they are stylised enough that the movie easily gets away with it.
  From its shrunken head to its rotted toes, Beetlejuice is the definition of a 90s movie, and I do not mean that in a derogatory sense.  I adore this style of film.  You couldn’t make it today, but if they did, they would cast Johnny Depp in the title role, he'd deliver his now generic quirky performance, and the whole thing would collapse under the weight of its own shitty CGI.  Then God would rain down fiery vengeance on us all.  The bees would stop pollinating, which would result in all of the world's crops failing.  There would be widespread droughts.  The Internet would crash, cutting the world off from its precious lifeblood of free porn.  Rabid geeks would take to the streets in search of release for their pent up carnal frustrations.  One of them would inevitable shag a monkey, which will cause a worldwide zombie pandemic.  As a result of this chaos, film funding budgets will be cut, which would result in Stitches never getting made...
  Wow.  I actually gave myself a chill there.  Please, Tim Burton, return to your old style and give us some more of that lo-fi magic, or we're all doomed!


If that trailer doesn't make you want to instantly seek out the movie, then quite frankly, you're an asshole.  Death is too good for you, but should you happen to die, you will be forced to take the number 9,999,765,987,345,456,567,889,239 and get in line!
  Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice is a true icon of cinema.  This character is one of our primary influences in what we are doing with Stitches, although I would say that in tone, our guy is probably closer to the original incaration of the character (in terms of personality, not design).  I would love to read some of those early drafts and see what he was like back then!
  Beetlejuice went on to spawn an animated children's series, and while there was talk for many years of a sequel - Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian (I'm not joking) - it thankfully never materialised.  As much as I love this movie, I don't think the magic could ever have been captured again.  Beetlejuice is one of a kind, and better for it.
  To play us out, hit it, Harry:


Next up, I'm going to share a little nocturne with you.